Monday, September 28, 2009

Let's try this again (be warned, it's a long one)!

Whew. Last week was a hard one, my friends! I was really down in the dumps and couldn't seem to find inspiration or purpose in much of anything. The last week was hard, because I kept getting news about other people's lives that make my life seem so...? I mean, here we are enjoying our first year of marriage in this gorgeous neighborhood in Seattle, loving life, remodeling our house... both doing what we love feel like we are suppose to be doing right now. I don't have a boss to report to or co-workers to trade shifts with, and I can go on vacation whenever I want, because I "work" for myself. Daniel is his own boss, runs his own business, and enjoys it! Life is great. I mean, really, we are BLESSED. 

But then, I hear stories like sweet little Kate's, or Daisy Love's, and I remember how people are starving and going bankrupt, and a leader from my old church youth group passed away and I remember heartaches like my friend's  Danielle and Ryan and I just get so... down. I mean, what impact do my silly little paintings have on this world? Who am I that I get to enjoy my husband, my home, this city, and doing art? What am I even doing to make a significant impact in this sad world? What purpose do I serve here? What can I be doing for the greater good? What would God have me do that might be more "inspiring" or "meaningful" or useful??  I know I go through phases of thinking there is always more I can do... there is always something more significant than whatever I am doing at that moment... and I know that I am where I am for a reason, and that I'll look back and know I was here because HE has me here. 

I'll admit, this weekend was refreshing for me in terms of just being able to start a new week. Boy, was I ready for last week to end! We were able to have lunch with a friend from Florida, who we met when his family bought a few pieces of my work. It's fun to be building a network all over, and I really appreciate his (and his family) support of me. Yesterday I was able to have the afternoon to myself while Daniel went on a bike ride. He got me a new ESV study Bible so I was able to read and reflect, and I also listened to a sermon from Pastor Britt Merrick (the daddy of little Daisy Love, who I mentioned at the beginning of this post) called When My Heart is Overwhelmed. I really appreciated his words, and was reminded again that it's not about me, it's about Jesus (duh, how easily I forget).

SO, with all that said, I am ready for this week! I am ready to start on a series of hymns and I am ready to feel inspired again. Ya-hoo! What is inspiring you all? What do you do when you have weeks like the one I had last week? Hope you all are ready to take this week on too!

1 comment:

Lindsey said...

Well, when you posted this I tried to comment and then it didn't, here is a belated comment (sorry, it's long):

I love that you are doing what you are doing, especially since you feel like it the place God has you right now. I know it may seem insignificant at times, because you can't see the everyday impact that your art does in people's lives. Like mine for example, the painting you painted for me lies above my bed. I read it every morning as I get ready and it helps remind me how sovereign our God is. It helps put the day in perspective. That may sound cheesy, but thanks for using your GIFTS God graciously gave you to share with all of us. It means a lot to me and I am sure to a lot of others.

So, after all that rambling, I pray your heart is a little lighter this week and that your week is going strong. I am also praying for all those you mentioned going through difficult times. May God be there to protect and shower them with His love. And, may Jesus show you how you can be a source of encouragement and servant to them.

Love you, Britt! Keep your head up!


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